Europe: Part 1

So this is one crazy place.

I'll start at the beginning, with a 30 hour plane ride, of which I maybe slept 5. Arriving in Paris I catch the airport train to Gare du Nord. It then takes me half an hour to find my bus to Brussels, and I arrive 5 minutes before departure. Good start then.

Then I get to Brussels, and what a mission that was. It took 45 minutes to find my friends, and we only met by chance. It was a good meeting too. I'd finally arrived properly.

The rest of Brussels was uneventful. One night and a small walk around the next day and that was it, on to Bruges.

Now Bruges is amazing. Don't go to the place expecting it to be like the movie. It's not, and besides, the locals hate tourists coming because of a piece of film. It's amazing. The food was lovely, hearty fare, and the sights were to die for. We hired bikes and went all around the city seeing the famous buildings, and then circling the city itself around the main canal. We were only there for two nights, but it was incredible. Not to be missed.

Then it was back to Brussels for the night, and saying goodbye to our friend Matteo who was going back home. After that a short bus ride to Rotterdam to meet our other freind, where we stayed the night for free. Nice, but very uneventful.

And then it was Amsterdam. Ahh, Amsterdam. We stayed right on the edge of the Red Light District, which was such a bizarre place. Our street was lined with coffeeshops, which took up a lot of our time. Put it this way: 5 days in Amsterdam, one day sightseeing. Oh, and Space Brownies are amazing.

So, that's a short summary of the trip so far, and now I sit in Paris, ready to get some sleep, and then explore this amazing city.

'Till next time.

Out.

I know I've been blogging like crazy, but I've had lots of ideas, so here goes another.

Right, so I've made no secret of my sexuality either here or on YT, but for the most part, while I've been open about it online, I was very much in the closet irl.

Since being a part of the YT community, I've become more comfortable when it comes to actually telling people. Recently I've been telling a lot of my closest friends, and it comes as quite a big weight off my back. Of course, there are some who I have not told, like the people I know who would make it a big deal, and really ruin a friendship. I haven't told my family either, and I think that's a big step. I have an uncle who thinks it's about time we had another gay in the family, and so has taken it upon himself to ensure it's not one in my generation. I know my immediate family wouldn't care, but it's the extended family who I know would judge me, and possibly damage an already estranged relationship they have with my parents. I don't think I'm ready just yet.

A friend of mine recently came out. When he told me, I was a little shocked, but somehow I seemed to know. It's funny, but I think this gaydar thing really exists :P. Anyway, I've been sort of inspired by this to start being more open about myself to my closest family and friends. I think I'm gonna have some fun in Europe, and then start fresh when I get back, and open up.

I'm looking forward to this year.

Skype List

As inspired by TheJoeFrom1993, the world famous pornstar.

1. You are funny and nice. Sometimes a bit full on though.

2. One of my first interwebs friends. I will always have a special place for you.

3. Nothing can describe how incredibly witty and intelligent you are.

4. One of my closest friends now, even though we only started hanging out 2 years ago. I love you.

5. Newest contact, and from the little conversation we have had, I can tell you are a really cool person.

6. You are an amazing person. I would dearly love to get to know you better.

7. We don't really talk, but I don't have anything against you.

8. We should make more music.

9. You are one of the coolest people I have met on YT. Don't ever change.

10. Twitter4Skype. Hmmm, why did I add you?

11. A troubled person at times. We should really talk more, I think we have a lot in common.

12. Another YT contact I don't really talk to.

13. You can be a real bitch at times. You need to suck it up and get over yourself.

14. You make amazing music, and you are a cool guy to top it all off.

15. I wrote a song about you, but you'll never know. I've wanted to be with you since we met, but I know it'll never happen.

16. You always make me laugh. We should hang out.

17. Hi Dad!

18. We don't talk, but you are a nice guy.

19. We were so close when we were young, but distance has really eaten into this relationship.

20. You are funny at times, but then sometimes you take it to far. Grow up a bit.

21. We don't talk much, but we always have nice conversations. I'm glad I met you.

22. You are cute, no matter what you say.

23. You may be my friend's ex-girlfriend, but we have grown to be good friends. I miss you.

24. Don't really know you, don't really care.

25. If anyone will make me religious, it will be you. You should be a priest.

26. You are so lovely and kind. And I kind of have a crush on you.

27. Never talked to you, but your videos are awesome, and you are beautiful.

28. We don't talk. Ever. I don't really want to talk to you.

29. Eh. I only subscribed to you out of courtesy.

30. Whenever I eat chips, I think of you.

31. You seem like a genuine guy, and I would like to talk to you more.

32. You are nice, but you seem socially awkward.

33. Hi Mum!

34. I can't believe our awkward first call has led to an amazing relationship. I really want to meet you in person, but it seems I may miss the chance.

35. You have been all I could ask for in a brother.

36. You are so cute and lovely, but I get the feeling you don't really like me.

37. Bro, I would say you are closer to me than nearly anyone else. Life would be very different without you.

38. I wish you would leave me alone, you're always asking me to call you to test my sound!

39. You're a cool guy, but you try too hard.

40. You inspire me. And I have a crush on you.

41. You are a genius, and I think we have some creative chemistry. Lets make music again.

Let the guessing games begin :D

Aspirations

So I feel like getting a bit personal. I don't know why, I'm just in the mood.

You see, lately I've been thinking about my life, and where I'm going. Now, I've had my share of fun so far in life, but I'm at this stage now where I have to make some kind of decision about the kind of person I'm going to be.

Now, up until around November, I had a fair idea. I was going to do well at University, come away with a degree in Politcal Science, and trot off to Wellington to try and make it in the NZ Political scene. However, last semester at Uni was just shit, and I lost all motivation for working. Then came November 8th, where I realised for the first time in my life that New Zealand is not as smart as I first thought. Thus, I came to the conclusion that in order to gain any traction in NZ Politics, I would have to either be a dickhead like John Key, or wait long enough for someone to fuck NZ up so as to spend my entire political career trying to fix it. As much as it truly pains me to say it, Politics is dead to me.

Then there is the pipe dream of being a musician. However, I'm not technically or creatively gifted enough to be able to exist off music alone. As much as I will be trying to continue this pastime, unless I get really lucky, it will continue to be just a pastime.

This is part of the reason why I'm going to Europe. I need to get away. I need a break from even thinking about myself. It's scary when you lose motivation for nearly everything you loved, and I just need some time to come to terms with myself.

My one mid-term goal for my life is simple. I will look to earn some money, maybe a year of consistently working, and then use the money to get to India, and spend a really extended period of time isolated. I would dearly love to live like a hermit, having no care for myself, and only spend my time looking after others. Sadly, this will take time and money to achieve, and being as unmotivated as I am right now, who knows where this plan will end up.

Then again, my attitude at the moment is a 'fuck it' mentality. I'm using this blog to vent before I go to clear my head. We'll see how I feel when I come back. I'm also looking to use this trip as a chance to experiment with my sexuality. I've had limited chances to do so at home, and I feel that in a foreign environment it may flourish. It may actually give me the courage to come out to my closest family and friends.

Sorry. I talk a lot of shit.

And on that note, I'm off to sleep. Don't take me too seriously. x