Motivation/Terrorism

I feel like I've been a bit lazy recently.

I haven't posted here or on YT for a while now, and for some reason I lack the motivation to do anything about it.

I think I might just take a break from making videos, and just refresh myself. My most recent vids have been shit anyway, they're just me drunk.

We'll see. If I feel like I have a good idea for a video, then I'll give it a go. Otherwise, I'm not sure where to go from here.

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In other news, the terrorist attacks in Mumbai have shaken me up a lot more than expected. I have very fond memories of Mumbai, as a very vibrant and colourful city. It was a fantastic experience. One of the best memories was waking up at 6 to walk down to the harbour to participate in the Mumbai Laughing Club. It was in a lovely park, right next to the India Gate, and the magnificent Taj Hotel.

Seeing the image of the Taj on fire with smoke pluming from the top sent daggers into my heart. I was speechless. Apparently the streets are dead, which is unbelievable, and is something which I can't even fathom, considering how busy the place was when I was there. The effect of these attacks is astounding.

Now, I'm not one for manhunts, or searching for swift retribution. I wouldn't even want these men to face the death penalty. All I wish upon those who committed the acts is that they know that what they did was incredibly wrong. Terrorism is not the solution. I'm all for activism, but it has to be activism which proves a point, and doesn't affect the innocent. These men could have learned a thing or two from one of their fellow countrymen, Mahatma Gandhi.

My heart goes out to all those affected by this tragedy. Namaste.

Blank

For those of you who want to know what this video is about, Ellen is my sister. She died shortly after she was born. I'm not sure of the exact details, because it's hard to talk to my parents about it, but I gather that essentially her heart was too big for her chest, and there was nothing the doctors could do, despite their best efforts.

She was born around a year and a half before me, so I never knew her. The irony is that had she not died, I may never have been born.

So, her 21st birthday would have been today. When someone turns 21, you usually regale their friends and family with stories of their life so far, and wish them luck for the future. It's almost seen as a turning point in someone's life, and so to never see that with Ellen is pretty hard. For me, it seems less of a concern for her, and more a concern for my parents, and I can only imagine what the loss of a child can do to someone.

The name 'Ellen' means light. This is why my name is Lucas, as it too means light. There's a strange connection I feel between us, even though we never once saw each other. I guess it comes down to the fact that I came in to 'fill a void', I guess. I do miss her, and I wonder what influence she would have had on my life, given that my other two siblings are brothers.

Now, I don't want people telling me that they are 'sorry for my loss', because it's not my loss. It's my parents loss. I only made the video, and wrote this blog, because it's something which I'm never confronted with. I just needed to give it some thought, and unload these kinds of feelings.

So there. You have a little insight into my personal life there.
Till next time.
<3

Poem

What the fuck did Jesus ever do for us?
Wars wars wars, that's all I see.

When it comes to the crunch,
I think I'd do the same.
I mean, if you are the son of GOD,
Wouldn't you want to dabble into the depths of darkness?

What am I deep down inside?

Stalker.
Criminal.
Freak.
Blind.
Dead.

Apathy.

Fuck what you say, Brandon, because when I smile,
I just don't mean it.

No matter what I say, it's still all just words,
sprawled
across
the
page.

So, in summary,
This flesh, these bones, just don't seem right.
None of it matters.










So why is suicide so hard?

John Key is NOT my homeboy.

OK, so I was going to make a video about this, but I feel like the topic is too dry.

Just under 24 hours ago, NZ elected the National party and John Key to lead the country. This ends 9 years of strong and all together very good leadership from Helen Clark and Labour. They have now been unceremoniously removed from their post. While speaking to party faithful last night, Clark made the announcement that she is stepping down as leader. I'm not going to deny it, I shed a tear for her. She has been an amazing leader, and it pains me to see her removed by the slime-bag that is John Key. I know she is destined for bigger and better things. I firmly believe that she will be the next Secretary-General of the UN.

Now, while I am deeply saddened to see her go, this is not the biggest of my worries. My fear is that National has the propensity to fuck things up in a very short space of time when they are in power. What's worse is that they can justify almost anything by saying that the economic climate forced them to do it. I'm scared by what could happen in the next three years, and what kind of effects it has on the future of the country.

After sitting on this for a day, and giving it my best analysis from a political science perspective, I've come to the conclusion that NZ has voted for the short term. Looking at John Key's speech last night, you could see his wife was very timid and shy on stage, and didn't look like she even wanted to be seen. This, it seems, is exactly what NZ wants: a 'strong' man, with his wife holed up at home doing her domestic duties, and the children going through a good private school education. This makes me sick.

Steve Braunias made a wonderful point in this morning's Sunday Star-Times. I paraphrase here, but what he essentially said was that Labour had the maths wrong with their "Two John's" advertisement. In fact, there isn't even one John. He's an airhead, almost on the scale of Sarah Palin. Anyone who voted for 'change', anyone who voted for 'financial experience', anyone who voted for fucking tax cuts, here is your fucking saviour. I just pray that this National administration falls apart in this first term, as it is likely to do. John Key is simply a puppet.

Once again, it will fall to Labour to clean up the scraps from a National government who can't see the bigger picture.

You may say that this is all speculation, and I'm extrapolating too far. You would be wrong. Study any of the recent National administrations, and compare it to Helen Clark's government. You'll see the light.

Proposition 8

OK, so I'm writing two blogs on a night when I should be studying/sleeping, but fuck it, I need to vent here.

I wrote the side note at the end of my last blog about Prop 8, but I feel it deserves more.

Before I rant, I'm going to explain myself. You may have an inkling by now, but I've never publicly come out and said it. Despite the fact that I hate categorising sexuality, I would frame myself as 'bisexual'. As such, I find myself as staunch a believer in gay rights as any other homosexual person. After Obama was officially announced as President-Elect, I thought that there may well be a new sense of equality in the USA, which would of course have an effect on the whole world. Then I heard that Prop 8 had passed.

If you don't know, Proposition 8 was tacked onto this election with a number of other referendums. It essentially states that marriage is a right reserved for a man and a woman, and not same sex couples. It passed in all states that it was asked, and in the case of California, it means that same sex couples can no longer marry, despite the Supreme Court decision of only a few months ago.

This is a case of one step forward, two steps back for the USA. Yes, the election of Barack Obama shows that people can achieve anything, regardless of race, but what about sexual orentation? Sure, I may be in New Zealand, where I can have a Civil Union in order to get the same rights as marriage, and it doesn't really bother me that I wouldn't get the title of 'married'. I feel priveliged to have that right, and want it extended to others all over the world. Prop 8 has cut that right from many in the USA, and that is deeply upsetting. I sincerely hope that people get out and appeal to their local officials for support, and take it to the courts again.

I could go on and on, but this is long enough. Just know that I'm fucking pissed off. Despite the fact that I'm not necessarily going to end up in a same sex relationship, I think it would be irresponsible for me not to show my dislike for Prop 8.

Spread the word, these Californites(?) need our support.

Yes he did.

So I sit here, and I try to think back to when a President last spoke like that. I've never lived through one, and you would probably have to look at either Reagan's "Tear down this wall" speech, or possibly even back to the Kennedy era. I feel like I've just watched one of the biggest moments, if not the biggest moment in history.

Let me explain here. It's not simply because an African American has been elected. While that is clearly important, what is even bigger is the fact that this African American is such a well-spoken and all around incredible person. For 250 years, oppression has been rife throughout the United States. It has taken an amazing person to fully break those chains. Never before has an African American even managed to get through the primaries, and here this man has taken it all the way. He is something special, and not just because of his skin colour.

This speech had echoes of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. While watching it, all I could hear was "I have been to the mountain top". Obama sounded like he too was a Reverend or a Priest, preaching to the masses, and them responding in turn. Obama seems to be the MLK of this generation. This is what scares me the most. MLK was assassinated the day after he gave what I consider to be his best speech. Given the fact that Obama gave his speech with bulletproof shields in front of him it's safe to say that many others are worried too. I don't want to tempt fate, but it fucking scares me. There are some insane people out there.

The irony in all this is the fact that I now couldn't give a shit about the New Zealand election on Saturday. All of that is wiped from my brain, and I can't bring myself to watch the leader's debate that is happening right now, because I know it will be such an anti-climax.

I don't care what you say, but I know that nearly everyone wishes they were American right now. I certainly do.

And now to sign off, echoing the sentiment that everyone should be feeling right now.

Peace.

Edit: WTF?! Sure, elect Obama, but then you go and vote yes on Proposition 8, effectively reversing gay marriage rights only just granted to California citizens. Shame on you Californians who voted yes. I'm still really happy that the US is now headed in the right direction, but this really grinds my gears. I'm fucking upset at this.

Then again, I guess I have more material for my American Politics exam tomorrow :D